Steps of Trepidation
by Cytrus
Summary: They ended up in the same class. Konata said it was a miracle. And it might have been one. YutakaxMinami Three parter.
1. Beaconing

_AN: This is a three-parter showing snapshots of the developing relationship between Yutaka and Minami. The chapters are somewhat separate, but follow each other chronologically._

_Everything is already written, so expect me to upload the next two chapters realtively quickly, they only need edition. Sorry if anything feels rough._

_As always, I'm thankful for all your remarks and corrections._

_Have fun!_

- Cytrus

* * *

**1 - Beaconing**

Yutaka Kobayakawa was not one for stereotyping people or hurtful preconceptions.

On the other hand, she felt more acutely than anyone the need to form opinions based on little information and forge lasting impressions in what amounted to no more than minutes of interaction. For her, the phrase "good morning" was the only common commodity beyond which nothing was certain. She often said "goodbye" but only rarely "see you soon".

Which was why she had already had her mind made up about Minami Iwasaki long before she learned the other girl's name.

And so, the Minami in her mind boasted qualities the original may or may have not possessed. She was a valiant defender of the weak, ready to step in whenever injustice happened. She was a supporter to the uncertain, she would patiently listen to their doubts and offer her thought-out advice. She was an example for others to follow.

The idealized Minami in her mind was an honest person who would never speak a lie.

xxx

The eyes of the two girls met and Minami reached out her hand to receive the object.

"I've ended up inconveniencing you."

But Yutaka's joyous features in that moment would burrow themselves deep into her memory.

"I did not expect to see you again."

xxx

On that warm May day, the two were walking together down a school corridor, Yutaka at the front and Minami half a step behind.

"Without having read your notes, I would have never answered that last question," the smaller girl admitted sheepishly "Being absent on math lessons does make it tough."

Minami answered this thanks as she always did: with the slightest nod of her head and lowering her eyes. Yutaka would nevertheless notice – that was another thing that never changed.

And involuntarily, Yutaka's steps became shorter and slower as her eyes took on a faraway glaze. Her thoughts took her back to the times not so long past when she had been always walking alone, when she had lacked support and-

She realized. _A true friend._

That things could be so comforting, so_ right…_

"Minami-san."

Yutaka stopped so abruptly she almost lost her balance, but when she turned to face her companion, Minami was, dependable and unwavering, exactly half a step behind her. Yutaka raised her head to look the other girl in the eyes, her face a mask of resolve.

Even if she was to be misunderstood…

"I'm glad you were there to lend me that handkerchief," she let out.

Minami was silent for a long while. But silence meant nothing between them. And their interlocked stares remained.

"I am terribly sorry. I have lied to you," the silent girl replied stoically.

And then, much to Yutaka's surprise, she bowed humbly and apologetically.

Yutaka did not yet understand that it would be the day when the Minami in her mind was to change most profoundly.

Minami didn't either.

"When I lent you the handkerchief," she paused.

And it was her turn to realize.

"I sincerely wished to meet you again."


	2. Converging

**2 - Converging**

Yutaka often got sick.

It was never anything worth special mention, just the usual: common cold, flu, fevers. And the underlying reason for her catching every sickness available at any given moment was to remain forever unknown to her.

xxx

"Kobayakawa-san? Would you like to go to the nurse's office?"

She never shied away from performing her duties as a class representative, but it made it all the easier to notice when she was unwell, when her "rise!" and "bow!" were weaker than usually.

And, from time to time, an observant classmate would notice how she swayed just a bit with every step and volunteer to escort her to the nurse's office – her default port of call, where she could cease to be a bother to those around her.

She had nothing against the location. Not in her old school and not now. Yutaka valued the calm and quiet which lessened the ringing in her ears. She loved the feeling of a wet cloth meeting her heated forehead. She appreciated the chance to lie down and catch a calm breath or two.

The nurse's office was all of the above. And it was also separation. Separation from her classmates, her school, her life.

Even so, her answer was always the same.

"If you would… yes."

To the nurse.

xxx

"Kobayakawa-san? Would you like to go to the nurse's office?"

There was also another image she was beginning to associate with the oft-visited room.

The image of mellow cerulean eyes and a gentle hand stroking her hair, fingertips occasionally brushing against her forehead. And silently, so very silently, words of concern that were only hers to hear. She came expecting the exquisite – the care and protection that were so new to her.

Her feverish mind did not register the choice she was making as the reply left her mouth.

"If you would… yes."

_To Minami._

But the questioning silence of her classmates did make her wonder.

Did she say that aloud?


	3. Interlude: Shards of Wonderment

**- Interlude: Shards of Wonderment -**

Minami saw her own worth as the volume of help she could prove to be for others.

She never found out if that was the cause of her inability to form close relationships. Never speaking about herself, never engaging in loose conversations, her mind was devoted entirely to seeking out those who needed her assistance.

Even if she never had the courage to meet the eyes of the people thanking her.

And she soon discovered that while all people indiscriminately desired help, fewer were actually willing to accept it when offered. Minami learnt about pride, distrust and cynicism.

As a result, she researched routes of helping others more defined than her usual approach. If mere readiness to help met with scorn, Minami felt it was her responsibility to find those who would willingly accept her and what little support she had to offer.

That could account for her growing interest in medical treatment and services. After all, sick people were the most common to seek help, professional or otherwise. This Minami noted when she was in the second class of her middle school. And a new quest began.

When this became her new path, Minami was still unaware she was soon to meet Yutaka Kobayakwa.

xxx

Her high school life was unlike anything she had ever gone through before.

Her habit of solitary reading during breaks, which had been a great factor in people deeming her queer, was now completely gone. And the cause wasn't a shift in her interests. Rather, the books had to wait until she came back home – there simply wasn't enough time for them at school.

The responsibilities of the class health officer weren't that absorbing. At least, they weren't supposed to be. But as she was spending as much time as she could helping out the school nurse, Minami's notoriety inconspicuously grew, until she found herself approached by people outside her own class who wanted consultation. Even if it bit into her free time, she wouldn't have it any other way. Not even when the amount of issues she had to take care of daily surpassed that of their class representative.

Yutaka, of course. The salmon-haired girl was the other side of the coin.

Because all of whatever time Minami had left went into following her smaller friend around the school, listening to her speak, urging her to go on when she grew silent, cogitating new topics, being asked questions, responding, asking questions back, being responded to…

Yes, her life was very much different.

xxx

The lustrous sounds of the piano, Minami believed, were peerless in the soothing of mind and soul alike. Each life had its own silence, that silence had its rhythm and the two songs, of the heart and the instrument, could be interwoven and enrich each other. For the short time her fingers moved over the keys, Minami was relieved of doubt.

The piano was her temple of solitude and her only selfish pleasure. When all disappeared into the harmony of music, Minami no longer thought of others or of her responsibility. When she was lost, she was free of the weight of living.

That was why, when she returned, she would invariably question herself. Was this sin the true her, was it the truth of humanity – not to be bothered, not dependant on, not linked at all to another person. Was she really allowing herself for conceit?

But she did not regret the time spent on practice. After all, she had once promised to play for Yutaka.


	4. Uniting

**3 - Uniting**

In the end, Minami wished foremost to protect.

That may have been the reason why her gaze constantly strayed to her friend, making sure that the scarf tied tightly around her neck was fulfilling its role of protecting her against the cold. When she did confirm that, however, her eyes still lingered, moving onto their interlinked hands.

She felt slightly guilty when, due to her preoccupation, the meaning of Yutaka's chatter flied over her head.

She wished to protect, and she had done well, so far. If, for lack of radiance, she was not Yutaka's guardian angel, she could at least claim to be the girl's shadow. Even if they were both female, the same age, attended the same school, even if they were basically equal, it was natural for Minami to become a guardian.

xxx

Somehow, as they reached the Izumi residence and her companion turned to her with the most divine smile on her face, Minami realized that it could very well be the end of the line for her.

She squeezed Yutaka's hand last one time before releasing it. Because the only thing Yutaka was not protected against was Minami herself.

"I am terribly sorry" she said, did not bow, but did close her eyes "But I'm afraid if you do not move in three seconds, I will kiss you."

xxx

It was a week before everything changed. But in Yutaka's mind, it was only another day in the discomforting and endless status quo.

Which was why she was silently sneaking to the closed door of Konata's room, knowing thanks to the light slipping underneath the frame and the rhythmic sound of typing that the other girl was not yet asleep.

Yutaka was aware her onee-chan was anything but average. And so, any advice coming from her also tended to be worryingly unorthodox. But she believed Konata would be honest, and she was family.

After all, Yutaka had to know whether she should or shouldn't.

Whether she could or couldn't.

xxx

Three seconds later, Minami leaned forward and almost managed to cover half the distance between them before their lips connected.

**Steps of Trepidation END**


End file.
